The Wonder Years

Back when i was 10, barely 2 years after EDSA I and a year after parents separated, i was engrossed with my new life as a single child. I have 3 siblings and all of them decided to live with my mom while i on the other hand stayed with my dad. As a single child i had my turn on adventures and misadventures in life. I had the freedom that i only dreamt of when the family was still together. I had the chance to have my allowance, ride the jeepney on my own, travel from my house to my classmate's house alone, eat scramble and all other street foods. It was the best days of my life as a young adult.

But since i was left alone with my dad, there are days that i never saw my dad. Days where my only companion is the tv and the family computer that i longed for one christmas. Nights when i cry myself to sleep and think if the family is better off together and not separated as it is. I decided to stay with my dad to get myself spared from my loud mouth mom. From the punishments that i deserve every time i fail her. Only to find out in the end that there is no perfect mom nor a perfect dad or a perfect family.

At 32, i still cry every time i remember my wonder years. The day when my dad left the house to live with his mother was the worst day that the family has seen. These are the bones that lie in my closet.

My mom and dad had attempts to save the marriage and failed twice on these attempts. On those attempts myself and my siblings reacted in different ways. I succumbed to smoking and drinking. While the rest of my brothers will have their own stories to tell.

The family is better now. My mom and dad are still separated. Dad visits us during family occasions and loves watching over his 2 apos. I still cry. And perhaps i am the only one in the family that still cries over what happened. This is my wonder years. Spent in a fashion where the memories are so vivid as if pictures were taken to remind me of these memories. This is my attempt to feel better and forget about the separation. I love my family now and whatever we have become is the result of our unity despite the tragedy. We still wonder and posts are own what ifs but will still go back to the thought that it was better this way.

Everyone will have their own story to tell, this is my story, my wonder years.